“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” – Henry David Thoreau
In case you may have noticed, I haven’t written much in a long while. I could say that it was due to a lack of inspiration, but it wasn’t. I could say that it was time, but it wasn’t. I couldn’t say that it was a couple of broken wrists that I received while jumping out of a second-story window to push an old lady out of the way of a speeding school bus…
Honestly, I haven’t been able to see the reason for it. Until recently, it was because nothing depended on it. Nothing hung in the gap, waiting. One factor has been my schedule, which has involved a lot of working to earn a check that, honestly, doesn’t do much anyway, other than make my creativity and efforts in other areas of life feel futile. I come home after working 7am to 6pm Monday thru Friday and until lunch on Saturday and Sunday, realizing that my most thoughtful energies were given to a company that just asks for more and repays me with 8 bucks an hour and a constant feeling of fatigue. Yes, my most thoughtful energies are at full-throttle in the morning; that’s how I happen to be wired. Jessie thinks it’s weird.
Well, my friends, that’s over.
My last day of work is Saturday, November 23rd. After that, I begin to pursue life on my own terms. How will that work out exactly? I have no idea. Honestly, there is a really scared kid keeping up at night that yells at me to take back my resignation letter and live safely onward until my death. But I refuse. I must live deliberately.
What are my plans? I do have some. I’ll try to put them into words here, though it’s difficult. I just finished trying to explain it to a friend before writing this. He asked me what exactly I was going to do. My answer came in the form of a blank stare, while I mentally fought, again, with the kid who was yelling in my head, “See!? you can’t even coherently talk about it! You’re insane!”
Here are some of those incoherent plans:
1. My plan is to finish things. I have, right now, 5 unfinished (and honestly, barely started) books. These are books about chasing after Jesus, living with unbearable Christians, eating your vegetables, you-name-it. I just want to finish one of these.
2. My plan is to love my wife outrageously. I have witnessed my beautiful bride come home exhausted at the same time that I come home, only to then feel the overwhelming stress of an unkempt house, and menacing laundry pile, and a hungry husband. That’s done. I hate that. I actually love the idea of her not having to worry about those things at all ever again.
3. Blog. (If you like this post, or have ever perused Twentylist.wordpress.com, this should make you happy.)
4. My plan is to leverage the platforms God has given me, to share his love, grace, and reconciliation with a hurting world; Basically, I want to preach.
5. I want to make a living from home, so that I may spend as much time as possible with the children that will one-day run through our house. No, that hasn’t happened yet. But it will, and I can’t wait! Since, I sorta like writing stuff (see plans 1 and 3), I plan to work to pay our bills by writing copy for businesses who need the service. Also, I am joining some friends in changing our local community by provided incredible, personal assistance in online marketing, writing, and graphic design for an affordable fee. And who knows, if any of the above plans help pay the bills, that’s great too.
That’s it, as concisely as I can put it.
See you all then.
-PS I would really dig the prayers, well-wishes, and what-not on this. The scared kid who lives in my head can be somewhat annoying. Thanks!